some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
