The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
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