Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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