I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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