u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
