good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
