I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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