there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
