Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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