Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize