that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
