my mouth tastes like poor choices
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
