We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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