My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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