If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
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