hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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