think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
