yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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