i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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