HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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