I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I will be naked everywhere
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
