I want to stick my p in your. b.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
