She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
