no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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