glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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