i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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