your room smells of hookers.
And success
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
