I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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