Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
