I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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