Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
