Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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