I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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