i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
