I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
