none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He kissed a someone with a penis
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
