You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
