So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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