i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
