Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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