he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
