Dual....:-)
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize