My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
