What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
accomplished twins. life is a go
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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