Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
