idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
