I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
