If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
