I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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