Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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