My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
He? As in you personified your dick?
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
