Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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