so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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