i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
