Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
