it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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