Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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