Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
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