omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
