: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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