worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
