We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
