he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Randomize
