Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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