I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
