Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
