"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
