just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
