i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize