So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
