Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize