SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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