Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
