don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Randomize
